Compiled by Kirk K. Klondike and J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. Abrams
Chapter One : The Set
When thinking of your office or place of work, why not try something new that was custom made to look old? A prefabricated place. This will add an extra layer of weirdness to your campaign.
Chapter Two : Product
Everyone likes food, consider that as an option…
Chapter Three : Acid As Education
If people do not understand your concept right away, consider giving them acid and fucking them all night. By dawn you’ll have loyalty in buckets. In the industry we call that ‘Buzz’.
Chapter Four : This Is My Rifle, This Is My Gun. This Is For Fighting, This Is For Fun
In this chapter we teach you how to empower your victi… erm, customers.. yeah with a rifle. Even women can feel the weight and satisfaction of having their own pussy destroying man machine with a solid black assault rifle!
Chapter Five : Trials Are Cheaper Than Renting Ad Space
After “the big push” demonstrated in chapter four, you should have a lot of attention now, please do not worry, all publicity is good publicity for your product or service. Some people will disagree, some will think you did the right thing, but people will be talking and you can take that talk all the way to the bank… the money bank.
Remember: SHOCK X FEAR = A one way ticket to money heaven $$$
Chapter Six : Aftermath
Things that are guaranteed to happen
1) Place in pop culture forever
2) High yeild profit ratio
3) Best selling book
4) Solid groundwork for your next product or service
5) Hot and cold running bitches
Kirk K. Klondike and J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. Abrams’s publication is available psychically from all good mentally unstable Gurus. Their 2nd publication “Find Your Perfect Partner With The Dennis Nilsen Method” will be available before Xmas 2012…