We all remember Grimes from pop sensation MyAmiSw8, with hits like “Touch Not Enough” and “Move Along (I Got No Change Today)” MyAmiSw8’s unique blend of Latin Jazz and Scottish Folk was more than enough to turn heads. But since going solo Grimes has racked up a fair few hits by herself, which lead to the unpleasantness yesterday, when she was invited to DJ at Ritchie Hawthorne’s Volcano Mansion Island.
An exited group of people attended, but then Grimes did something unexpected and everyone in the whole world got upset. She didn’t do that thing where you thought she might do, resulting in at least 200,000 deaths.
One audience member remarked “Yes I am upset, I had pets and they died, it’s like that except it is happening again right now”
Former bandmate Jonathan Kurnz when interviewed said “It good, DJ too serious now. Take someone to show new doing. Anyway, Volcano hot and danger”
Boiling Rum president Lance Henrikson took to their official website to state “We certainly wouldn’t get this kind of behavior on the set of Aliens or the hit TV show Millennium, James Cameron and The Other Chris Carter would sit everyone down and say ‘not nothing going get done now everybody be weeping’ and that would be that.”
Members of the international DJ community began “Operation: Mindcrime” an online tactic developed by DJ Sexl3ss and infamous DJ duo Gettin’ Nun N’ No Chance which promises to “restore balance through accusation”
When asked to clarify DJ Sexl3ss went on record to say “Oh that be simple, if they are a woman we say ‘You like men’ and if they are a man we say ‘You like men’ it is super helpful if they are Black or Chinese or something then we can attach comments about their race too.”
When questioned further this journalist was told that he “liked men”
The death toll continues to rise.